Guest post from adoptive mother Jane: In 1 Samuel 16:7 we learn “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” When our hearts soften to the idea of adoption, we realize that love is not based on biological connection, or attractiveness or skin color. God opens our eyes to a bigger world, where family is not who you are, but what you do! Love and relationship trumps all, when God is in the mix!
When I think about my husband and my close friends, it feels as if time has stood still. When I look at them, I see who they are inside and the wonderful times we have spent together. I don’t see the wrinkles and obvious signs of age, because I see their heart. I love them for who they are and not their outward appearance.
God sees each of us with ultimate clarity. He loves our spirit and our heart. Our exterior is a shell God looks past to our true essence. He connects with the part of us that will never die; the part that will join our Heavenly Father in His wonderful kingdom! God sees what we can be!
When your heart is open to God’s plan, anything is possible! He has a child picked out for your family. He can see beyond the superficial to the tender heart beneath. God wants to bring into your life a child that will complement the unique needs and characteristics of your family. Do you trust God enough to lay your family at His feet?
“Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.”
In Matthew 25:14-30 Jesus uses the parable of the talents to reveal His desire for us to use His gifts wisely. When we invest the gifts and actual talents God gives each of us wisely we build confidence and trust in His provisions, and repay His trust in our ability to tend His gifts with care.
Often this lesson is preached as a way to manage finances or material gain. But God’s provisions aren’t always material. He gives us each gifts, talents, and abilities which are unique and totally qualified for use right now, as well as in the future when He calls upon them.
Along a path to parenthood, God awards gifts such as a yearning to be a parent, a nurturing heart, and patience for children. But sometimes when hopeful parents endure hurdles or waiting as they attempt to build their family, those initial gifts and talents for parenting feel more like burdens. It’s easy to wonder why you’d be given talents or abilities, or the desire, if you couldn’t use them yet. Some will even fear their gift will never be used.
If you’re hoping to become a parent, or grow your family, reflect on the probability that God may have given you the desire and knack for parenthood because He’s preparing you for the child in your future. As you wait for your child, find ways to use your gifts for nurturing or care-giving to bless others. Invest your talents now in a way that will benefit your future as a parent.
Finally, consider the possibility that the calling to parenthood is a gift too. God will not invest such a gift if He doesn’t have plans to harvest it. Through prayer, discern how He may be leading you to use your passions, dreams, gifts and talents. He will reveal his immediate steps that will ultimately lead you to His plan for your future as a parent.
How will you respond when He asks you invested His gift?
If you feel called to build your family through adoption, take the steps necessary to explore and pursue this option.
Learn more or apply to adopt!
It is heartwarming to see the flood of families that have been called to adoption these past few months. With the downturn in the economy, added pressures have overwhelmed many young birth moms. At an increasing rate, they are choosing to find adoptive families for their babies, rather than face the seemingly insurmountable struggle of trying to raise a child without resources and support. Because of this, Christian adoption centers such as Lifetime Adoption are constantly looking for couples to match with birth moms that have decided to step out in faith and start the adoption process.
You were created to make a difference! Only the Lord knows His mighty plans for you. If He has weighed you down with a desire that you can’t seem to shake, then it is time to stop and ask the Lord to reveal His plan. Taking a chance and stepping out of one’s comfort zone it not an easy thing to do! It requires trust in our Heavenly Father and trust in our ability to hear His call.
Maybe you have struggled to give birth to a child for so long, that you are ready to walk away from your dream of being a parent all together. You feel as if you have no control over your body and your life. Well, this is the year of the Lord’s favor! In Isaiah 61:2-3, God reminds us that He will comfort those who mourn and create beauty out of ashes. He goes on to declare that He will plant great works in you so His kingdom will be glorified.
Do not lose heart! You were meant to read this at these particular cross roads in your life. You were destined to hear these words for a reason. Are you meant to parent through the wonderful process of adoption? Ask the Lord for His answer and He will make it clear to you. There is an old saying that God’s Light shines brighter in the darkness. Can you see it?
Even if you’ve hired the best adoption professional you can find, your home study is complete, you’ve painstakingly created a gorgeous profile, and your suitcase is packed and waiting at the door – you could STILL be overlooking this one powerful component for adoption success:
Show her that you care about her!
Here are six ways to extend yourself to a birthmother and show her that you truly appreciate her:
- Ask her how she is feeling today and if there’s anything you can do to help her feel more comfortable, whether physically, or emotionally. Show her that you are interested in her well being, and it’s not just “all about the baby.” Show her you see her as a unique person, not just the gateway to your soon-to-be child. Even if she doesn’t ask you to do anything for her, at least she knows you offered.
- Take her lead with the hospital plan. Does she want you in the delivery room? Does she seem to be more of a private person? Does she want to take photos together? How does she feel about seeing and holding the baby? Who does she want to hold the baby first? Honor her wishes. These are the final parenting decisions she is able to make. The next 18 years are up to you!
- Care about her and where she wants her life to go. Ask her about her goals and dreams, her interests. Instead of asking all the questions about the health of the baby (which you will likely learn through medical records, anyway). These are stories you can share with your child. Maybe your son or daughter shows an athletic gift – you will be able to say, “Your birthmother was a big soccer star at her high school!”
- Never judge her, and always accept her just as she is. Here is the woman who is going to hand you her baby, trusting you will love this child as your own. The past is the past and can’t be undone. If you really think about it, any one of us could be one event away from being in very similar circumstances.
- Be decisive and clear in your responses to her. Don’t leave her hanging in the balance for more than just a few hours at the most. If you need time to discuss things privately or pray over something, be honest, but don’t keep her waiting. She may start to question your commitment to her baby.
- Follow through with your commitments. It’s very likely that you are the most stable figures in her life at this time. She is going out on a limb to trust you. If you have promised something, follow through with it. This also extends to after the adoption. Be sure you send her the letters and photos you promised. Show her that she is a valued, important person in your life, and that she is not forgotten.
For anyone thinking about building a family through adoption, Lifetime Adoption’s Webinars will feature questions from families in all stages of exploring or pursuing adoption.
By signing up and joining in on Lifetime’s webinars, you will be able to ask your questions and discover answers that will help you decide the next best step toward building your family. Please join us for your opportunity to participate in Lifetime’s most popular resource for families thinking about adopting.
When you register you’ll receive an email with the link or phone number you’ll need to join us live.
You may attend by PHONE or ONLINE from a computer, or your Smart Phone. To attend using your iPhone or Droid download a free webinar app. (Please refer to your personal data plan to find out if charges may apply to attend from your cell phone using this app.)
We’re looking forward to your questions!