Adoption Prayer, Christian Adoption
O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water. The New King James Version., Ps 63:1 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1982)
While every Christian knows that prayer is an important part of one’s relationship with God, how many of us can really mean the words of the Psalmist when we say it aloud? Do we seek God with every fiber of our being, just as we would run to water when we are parched and in a desert? How many of us spend time with God before we let the busyness of our everyday lives consume our thoughts and our time? Prayer should not be the last resort for the believer; it should be the first step. When we are faced with making major, life-altering decisions, why should we rely on our own intelligence when God knows the end from the beginning? The adoption process can be fraught with difficulties and challenges. When you rely on your own material and physical resources, you may end up discouraged and exhausted. But, when you bring God into the equation you can rest assured that He cares about every detail of your life and will work them all out for your good (Romans 8:28).
Adoption is one of the most life-changing decisions a couple can make. For some it can be a natural and spontaneous outpouring of their love and desire to make a difference in a child’s life. For others, it can be the result of infertility and many years of exhausting and traumatic medical treatments gone in vain. Whichever be the case, it is still a very big decision; one where you need to involve God right from the word ‘go’.
Involving God in your adoption plans is the best way to make sure that your plans are in alignment with His will and plan for your future. Praying to God can be compared to the amount of time people spend in National Parks. A survey in 1983 found that the average time spent in all forty-eight parks was a paltry 4 and one-half hours! You cannot expect to experience and enjoy the magnificent scenes of nature within that time frame. You cannot listen and smell nature in all her glory when you run through a national park. Sadly, most Christians run through prayer the same way. While God doesn’t time the length of our prayers, it is our loss when we don’t wait on the Lord, meditate on His Word, soak in His presence, and listen to His still small voice. Spend time with God and surrender your adoption plans to Him. Acknowledge that His ways are not your ways and His thoughts are not the same as yours (Isaiah 55:8-9), but they are far higher than our highest thoughts. Yield to His will and ask God to show you how to make the right decisions to stay in His perfect will.
Adoption Prayer, Christian Adoption
“Learning what to choose, and how to choose, may be the most important education you will ever receive.” –
Dr. Shad Helmstetter
Decisions, decisions, decisions. From the time we wake up to the time we go to bed, we are confronted with a whole range of choices. Every day decisions such as what outfit to wear to work or what to cook for dinner are a matter of routine and aren’t that difficult to make. But, there are certain major decisions in life that need careful prayer, thought, and agreement with spouse in order to give you peace and happiness.
A mature believer will seek God’s will and wisdom when faced with major decisions. Choosing to adopt is probably the biggest decision you will ever make as a couple. Therefore, you need to use not only your heart but also your head when making decisions on anything relating to the adoption process. Why is this important? Well, every decision you make as a couple regarding adoption may have serious and lasting consequences. That’s why, while you use your God-given abilities and knowledge, it is also important to prayerfully seek God’s perfect will for your future.
Adoption is heart-based and it involves all your emotions. But, it is not wise to make all the decisions in your adoption process based on your emotions. There are practical aspects to adoption, which have to be dealt with your head. Many couples rush headlong into adoption in their effort to bring home a baby as soon as possible and they end up being heartbroken because of some complication that could’ve been avoided had they used their head and their heart in decision-making. If you are one of them, it is not too late to make adoption work for you! Learn to forgive yourself and learn from your past mistakes. The next time you face a similar situation, you will know to weigh all the pros and cons before you make a decision.
As a Christian, invite God into the decision-making process. Seek his guidance and ask Him to show you how to make wise decisions that are in alignment with His will and His Word. Apart from praying, you must be committed to knowing His Word. Knowing God’s will at a time when you have to make a major decision will equip you with a biblically informed way of thinking and help you make the right choice. As Paul shows in an example in 1st Corinthians 6-10, before you make a decision you need to find out if your decisions will bring strength and encouragement to your life and ultimately glorify God.
At the end of the day, God honors every prayerful effort and intention. He knows you can’t ‘know-it-all’ before you decide. Only He can! So, trust in Him and prayerfully consider every decision before you move ahead.
Christian Adoption, Open Adoption
Knowledge is power. Information is liberating. Education is the premise of progress, in every society, in every family
– Kofi Annan
We’re familiar with the phrase ‘knowledge is power’. Truth be told, while we are familiar with this adage, we often forget to apply it in our everyday lives. This is especially true when it comes to reading and understanding important documents and contracts. We just run through the pages or give a cursory glance at the contents, before signing on the dotted line. Some don’t even do that!
The adoption process can be quite challenging and time-consuming. The prospective parents have only one thing on their mind – to bring their baby home. And that’s perfectly natural. Couples who have gone through unsuccessful assisted reproductive treatments like IUI, IVF, or ICSI suddenly have the hope of bringing home a baby of their own. They are excited and anxious at the same time and their emotions are understandable. But, the adoption process is pretty vigorous. It requires couples to spend time with the agency and the adoption professionals, as well as reading through the adoption contract to understand the terms of the adoption process.
If you have trouble paying attention to anything in print, you may have to take it up with your school! From grade school to college, many students just go through the motions of reading and writing, creating a veritable treasure trove of disinformation: a) In Guinessis, the first book of the Bible, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. B) Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments; he died before he ever reached Canada c) Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock d) History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. e) The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. While it may be very funny to read, we can all learn something from this – we must spend time in preparation when we are faced with life-changing decisions and we surely need to pay attention to what we read!
If your adoption is not complete and you have not read your adoption contract yet, I strongly recommend picking it up right now and spending time reading it. Don’t try to read it in between work or when you are mentally occupied with other things. You have to be mentally present when you read the contract. Ensure that both you and your spouse understand the entire terms of the adoption contract. A poorly read contract may cause you a lot of confusion and frustration in your adoption journey. If you have any doubts or questions, get in touch with your adoption professional. It is always better to be safe than sorry!
Adoption Prayer, Christian Adoption
God’s delays are not God’s denials.
-Robert H. Schuller.
Have you been praying long and hard for God to bless you with a baby? Every month as you watch your pregnancy test turn up negative, do you suspect God’s ability to answer your prayer? Or, after months and years of waiting, do you now think God has denied you of a chance to become a parent?
I love the words of Pastor Schuller: God’s delays are not God’s denials. Sometimes we expect God to do an instant miracle and relieve us of our burden. We hear stories of how other women prayed and the next month they conceived twins! It can be emotionally and spiritually taxing to keep waiting on God when nothing seems to be happening and you aren’t even sure He hears you. Well, let me tell you a little story about the Chinese bamboo tree: The Chinese plant the seed and they water and fertilize it. The first year nothing happens. But the Chinese continue to water and fertilize it until the fifth year, even though it shows no sign of life or growth. At some point in the fifth year, the first shoots come out of the earth. Within the span of six weeks, the Chinese bamboo tree grows to a height of 90 feet! Now, if I asked you how long it took the Chinese bamboo tree to grow, what will be your response – five years or six weeks? Well, five years, of course! The Chinese patiently watered and fertilized the plant for years before their efforts were rewarded.
We all have our ‘Chinese bamboo tree’ experiences in life. Infertility is one of them. We wait and pray, hoping for a miracle, but nothing seems to be happening. As God’s children, we have security in the fact that God is for us and not against us. He knows our secret longings and innermost desires and He wants to meet them. But, He will do so in His own timing and we should watch and pray in perseverance. Although it may seem that God is delaying your miracle, you must realize that God is neither early nor late…He’s just on time!
Wait on the Lord, wait cheerfully,
And He will thy youth renew;
Wait on the Lord obediently,
Whatever He bids thee do.
Wait on the Lord, for whom hast thou
On earth or in heaven but He?
Over thy soul a watch He keeps,
Whatever thy path may be.
-Robert J. Morgan, Nelson’s Complete Book of Stories, Illustrations, and Quotes,
A faith that can’t be tested can’t be trusted.
It is tragic that there are many people who use the name of our Lord to manipulate and cheat others. This world is full of rebellious and greedy individuals who will go to any length to make money. Sadly, Christian adoption is no exception. There are many people who use God’s Word and talk ‘Christianese’ to dupe unwitting and desperate couples of their hard-earned money.
Some of the most common scams in Christian adoption are listed below, so that you can be wary of them in your quest to adopt a baby:
- Adoption from African countries, especially Cameroon – Some couples try to adopt a baby using their own resources instead of a professional adoption agency. They unwittingly transfer funds to unscrupulous individuals and end up without a baby and a huge hole in their wallet.
- Adoption of multiples – Some women try to give up twins and triplets without sufficient evidence of pregnancy. If they refuse to get in touch with your attorney or adoption facilitator, that’s a big warning sign. You must exercise caution in such cases.
- Other Cases – Some other common means of scams include asking money immediately after sharing a very desperate and sad story, adoption professionals who advertise and ‘shop around’ for adoptive families, and adoption professionals who ask you to ‘invest’ money to show you to a prospective birth mother.
How Can You Avoid Such Scams?
Firstly, trust God to lead you to the child He has waiting for you. When you deal with innumerable frustrations and heart-breaks of adoption, you may be tempted to question the motives of every adoption professional and agency. This will leave you jaded and exhausted. When you believe that God has a good plan for your future and is willing to take your hand and guide you through the bumpy road of adoption, it releases you to come under the power and protection of His grace, mercy, and love. Trust in God and His timing. Ask Him to give you the wisdom needed to see through such scams and make the right decisions at the right time. Secondly, choose an experienced and reliable adoption professional to guide you through the adoption process and help you stay out of the traps of adoption scams.