Open Adoption
Our children are not ours because they share our genes…
they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them.
That, at the end of the day…or long sleepless night,
is how love really works.
— Unknown
Are you afraid of open adoption? Do you think it is not only uncomfortable but also unbiblical? Well, I want to share what I found in the Word of God. Before we find instances of open adoption in the Bible, you must understand that adoption is pleasing in God’s sight. There are many examples of Biblical characters encouraging and demonstrating adoption: The adoption of Moses by Pharaoh’s daughter, the adoption of Esther by her relative Mordecai after the death of her parents, and finally, Joseph’s adoption of Jesus as his own child. Apart from these people adopting children who are not biologically theirs, the Bible says we are the children of God through adoption. In fact the New Testament (Gal. 4:3–7; Eph. 1:1–6) describes the believer’s relationship with God through adoption. So, it is very clear that adoption is divinely authorized and has the blessing of God, our Maker.
But, what does the Bible have to say about open adoption? Well, Joseph’s adoption of Jesus is a beautiful example of this process. He welcomed Jesus as his own, even though Jesus was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit. He recognized him as his own son and have him all legal rights, including the claim to the Davidic family line. When Jesus was 12 years old, he wandered away from his parents during the Passover Feast in Jerusalem, and was found three days later in the temple talking to the teachers. When he was questioned by his mother, he replies, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” Now, no adoptive parent would want to hear something like this. We can only imagine how Joseph felt when Jesus calls God as His ‘father’. The Bible indicates that Jesus spent time alone in prayer, communicating with His Father God. Joseph could have allowed himself to get upset about this. But, he did not allow this kind of open communication with Jesus’ heavenly Father to sour his relationship with his adopted son. We read that Jesus was ‘subject’ to his parents as He grew in wisdom and stature (Luke 2:51). So, He enjoyed a close relationship with his earthly parents, while communing with His Father in Heaven.
Can we do the same with an open adoption? Yes, we can. The focus of the adoption process should be the child. Your child’s birth family is very much a part of his or her life, whether you like it or not. An open adoption will remove feelings of insecurity and abandonment in your child that comes from not knowing anything about the birth family or not having any contact with them. It is your responsibility to allow your child to have a healthy communication channel with his or her birth family. If you fear complications from it, allow God to remove those fearful thoughts from your mind. Trust in Him and ask Him for the grace you need to opt for an open adoption.
Adoption Prayer
Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.
— Lin Yutang
The Bible compares motherhood to God’s love for us. Just as a mother loves and nurtures, so does God shower His love on all new believers who are “babes in Christ” (1 Cor. 3:1). If you are considering adoption, I hope you are including God in your adoption plans. While it is important to pray for yourself and your family in preparation of welcoming a new life to love, into your hearts, don’t forget to pray for the birth mother and all other adoption professionals you come into contact with.
Why should you pray for the birth mother? Well, firstly, God is using her to ultimately bless you with motherhood. Secondly, whatever be the circumstances in which the birth mother is giving up her baby in adoption, we know for sure that it is a very painful decision for her. She is doing what Jochebed, the mother of Moses did. Jochebed gave up her son to save him from death at the hands of Pharaoh. It must have been a terrible sight to watch her baby float in a basket on the reeds, not knowing who will find him. Yet, she exercised her faith in God by taking a bold step to save his life. God honored her faith and Moses was picked up by Pharaoh’s own daughter!
There are two important lessons we can learn from Jochebed – she trusted God to save her child and she also used the opportunity she got as a nursing maid to influence Moses’s character. So, what can you do as a prospective parent? You can ask God to strengthen the birth mother to go through the adoption process and pray for her future. God is placing the life of a child into your hands. As a mother, modeling Jochebed, you must impart your faith to your child, preparing the child to serve God in every way.
As a mother, you have the responsibility of influencing your child positively during the formative years. Be committed to making a powerful contribution to the glory of God by raising godly children. When you do that, you are not only honoring God but also the woman who put her child into your hands, trusting you to do what’s right.
Christian Adoption, Open Adoption
Our children are not ours because they share our genes…
they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them.
That, at the end of the day…or long sleepless night,
is how love really works.
— Unknown
Are you afraid of open adoption? Do you think it is not only uncomfortable but also unbiblical? Well, I want to share what I found in the Word of God. Before we find instances of open adoption in the Bible, you must understand that adoption is pleasing in God’s sight. There are many examples of Biblical characters encouraging and demonstrating adoption: The adoption of Moses by Pharaoh’s daughter, the adoption of Esther by her relative Mordecai after the death of her parents, and finally, Joseph’s adoption of Jesus as his own child. Apart from these people adopting children who are not biologically theirs, the Bible says we are the children of God through adoption. In fact the New Testament (Gal. 4:3–7; Eph. 1:1–6) describes the believer’s relationship with God through adoption. So, it is very clear that adoption is divinely authorized and has the blessing of God, our Maker.
But, what does the Bible have to say about open adoption? Well, Joseph’s adoption of Jesus is a beautiful example of this process. He welcomed Jesus as his own, even though Jesus was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit. He recognized him as his own son and gave him all legal rights, including the claim to the Davidic family line. When Jesus was 12 years old, he wandered away from his parents during the Passover Feast in Jerusalem, and was found three days later in the temple talking to the teachers. When he was questioned by his mother, he replies, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” (Luke 2:49)
Now, no adoptive parent would want to hear something like this. We can only imagine how Joseph felt when Jesus calls God as His ‘father’. The Bible indicates that Jesus spent time alone in prayer, communicating with His Father God. Joseph could have allowed himself to get upset about this. But, he did not allow this kind of open communication with Jesus’ heavenly Father to sour his relationship with his adopted son. We read that Jesus was ‘subject’ to his parents as He grew in wisdom and stature (Luke 2:51). So, He enjoyed a close relationship with his earthly parents, while communing with His Father in Heaven.
Can we do the same with an open adoption? Yes, we can.
The focus of the adoption process should be the child. Your child’s birth family is very much a part of his or her life, whether you like it or not. What if Joseph and Mary had said to Jesus, “No, you may not tend to your Father’s business until you are 18 years old and an adult. Until that time, you are to have no contact with Him.” It may seem comical to consider that as we are talking about our Heavenly Father, but the issue of fear is the same.
An open adoption will remove feelings of insecurity and abandonment in your child that comes from not knowing anything about the birth family or not having any contact with them. It is your responsibility to maintain a healthy communication channel with your child’s birth family if you have agreed to that. If you fear complications from it, allow God to remove those fearful thoughts from your mind. Trust in Him and ask Him for the grace you need to opt for an open adoption.
