Staying In Agreement With Your Spouse – God Brings You Together as You Draw Close to Him

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” -Mt 7:7-8

Prayer is the lifeline of a believer when he or she is pulled by the currents of trials and tribulations. When prayer becomes as natural as the air we breathe, it opens up opportunities for God to answer our prayers. Mind you, His answers may not be the ones we specifically seek, but there is always the promise of an answer.

If you are a couple dealing with infertility, these may be times of frustration, anger, and hopelessness. According to medical terms, a couple is infertile after at least a year of unprotected sex. For most couples, once this dreaded deadline passes, it is the beginning of innumerable medical tests and painful poking and prodding. When they eventually learn that they have remote chances of conceiving naturally, it takes them on an emotional and spiritual rollercoaster ride. The stress of whether to go in for fertility treatments, adoption, or simply wait on God for a miracle can be too much to bear, even for a Christian couple.

Couples struggling with infertility go through a whole range of emotions. But, the ones that weigh in the most are feelings of being abandoned by God and a sense of incompleteness. If you relate to this problem, then I want you to know that God has not abandoned you. Being ‘childless’ does not make you any less in the eyes of your Maker.

If you and your spouse cannot come to an agreement on the path to take (adoption or assisted conception), it may do you a world of good to surrender your future to God’s perfect will. As we see in Mathew 7: 7-8, continuous prayer leads to receiving, finding, and opening of doors of opportunities. The Bible declares that when two or more of God’s children come together in His name, He is in their midst. Spend time everyday in prayer as a couple. Welcome God into your marriage, ask Him to strengthen you as a couple during this difficult time, seek His wisdom and will concerning your options, and knock on the doors of Heaven until it opens up its blessings for you and your spouse.

The Word of God declares children to be a material and spiritual blessing: they are to take care of us in our old age and are our heritage. God will never deny you this blessing. It is His desire that every one of His child bears fruit, physically and spiritually. As a Christian couple, I urge you to believe that God has a definite plan for your parenthood and that He is in control, even though your life seems to be in turmoil. Let prayer unite you in all the areas where you are not in agreement with your spouse, so that you can make godly decisions for your future.

 
 

God’s Blessings Come in ‘Can-s’ – Yes, You CAN Trust Him For Your Miracle!

For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant;
For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed

This was what Mary said when she met Elizabeth in Judah. Mary was probably 19 years old when the angel of the Lord met and proclaimed to her that she would bear the Son of God. The angel also announced that her relative Elizabeth has conceived despite her barrenness, for “with God nothing will be impossible” (Luke 1:37). It is a wonderful scene where these two women meet. Elizabeth was old and barren, yet with child, while Mary was very young and pregnant without ‘knowing a man’. We see God’s hand in both these miracles that defy the natural order of things.

Most of us suffering from infertility may wonder why God is putting us through this trauma, when He can heal us ‘right away’ and make us pregnant. Well, if there’s one thing we need to know about God, it’s this: He cannot be confined in a neat box! He has many acts up His sleeve and is the sovereign God who decides how and when to answer our prayers. There are times when God will do the unexpected and take us on a path we never even dreamed of.

I believe the person who said “The longest journey of any person is the journey inward”, had a long walk with God! Our struggles with infertility can be a wonderful opportunity to get rid of all the spiritual, mental, and emotional infections and dirt that have slowed us down in our walk of faith. When we trust in, rely on, and put our confidence in the Rock of Ages, we embark on an exciting journey that will take us to the place of complete rest, peace, and joy in Christ.

God works in ways that are beyond our comprehension. Sometimes, we may not like what He has planned for us. But, if we believe that we are in His thoughts and He has good plans that give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), we will welcome any surprise He throws at us. Christian adoption may be one of the surprises God has in store for infertile couples. He knows the inborn yearning in every woman to become a mother and He understands this feeling. Adoption may be His way of meeting your need to become a mother and giving a life of comfort, security, love, and faith to an abandoned child.

If you are confused about adoption, I encourage you to spend some time today in prayer. Ask God to show you what to do and lead you in your decisions concerning adoption. Believe that one day you will have a child who will rise up and call you blessed!

 
 

God Is Ready To Do More Than You Dare Ask!

“The man or woman who is wholly and joyously surrendered to Christ can’t make a wrong choice—any choice will be the right one.”
-A. W. Tozer

Infertility can have a crushing impact on your life. It can bring everything to a grinding halt and leave us wondering which way to turn. Many times, couples who have been told that a natural conception is impossible, try to rush into assisted reproduction treatments or adoption. When you rush into something like adoption, you risk treating the child you adopt as a substitute for the child you never had biologically. You need to take time to deal with your feelings of frustration and depression, coming to terms with your infertility. If you choose to go the assisted reproduction way, you need to understand that no doctor can guarantee you a 100% success rate.

One way to deal with infertility and the uncertainty over your future is to surrender yourself to God’s will. Imagine a pyramid with God on top and you and your spouse at the two ends of the base. When you both move up towards God in faith, it will not only bring you closer to Him but also bring you closer to each other. The Bible says that God finds us more valuable than the birds of the sky. If He can guide the birds in their migrations, surely He wants to guide you to make the right decision concerning your future as a parent.

Oswald Sanders gives us a beautiful lesson on how to know the will of God – he says he first gathers all the information and facts needed to arrive at a decision and lifts them up to God, praying over them in His presence. He then waits on the Holy Spirit to move his mind in the direction of God’s will! He goes on to believe that God guides him by presenting reasons to his mind to act in a certain way.

If you are struggling to understand God’s will for your future as a parent, I urge you to spend time in prayer seeking His guidance. Be confident that He wants the best for you and is willing to do more than you dare to ask or dream! (Ephesians 3:20)

 
 

How to Trust God When You Feel It Is the Last Thing You Can Do!

prayer Christian adoptionGod moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform.
— William Cowper

It is every woman’s dream to hold her first baby in her arms. There is nothing more painful yet joyful as giving birth to your child. You think you are ready to start a family and imagine everything will happen “just as planned.” After all, isn’t that how it is with all the other women you know? But, after 12 months of ‘trying’, you find out that you are now medically an infertile couple. It is devastating news and one that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. But, is it the end of the road? Will you never become a mother? Do you feel God has let you down?

I want to encourage you to meditate on those biblical verses that talk about God’s will and plan for His children (Psalm 25:12, Psalm 32:8, Psalm 37:4,7, Proverbs 2:6-9, 1 Cor. 10:13, Isaiah 58:11) God promises that He has plans to bless us and not harm us…plans to give us a hope and a future. There are times when the plans in our head do not match the plans that God has prepared for us. But, if you trust in Him and take that leap of faith, you will be pleasantly surprised at how God was able to work your darkest hour into a bright and sunny day!

Whether you want to try assisted reproduction treatments or want to consider adoption, invite God into the situation. Trust that God, in His wisdom, is trying to make something out of you through this difficult time. Ask Him to guide you towards His divine plan for your parenthood and show you what He wants you to do. If you are considering adoption, take a step back and check if your motives are pure: Do you want to become a parent or do you want a biological child? You cannot adopt a child for selfish reasons i.e., to make you a mother or to fill a void. An adopted child is no different from a biological one. The former is born of your heart while the latter is born of your body! God has prepared a child for you. Be strong and persevere in prayer until He leads you to your child.

 
 

God’s Blessings Come in ‘Can-s’ – Yes, You CAN Trust Him For Your Miracle!

“For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant;
For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed”

-Luke 1:48

This was what Mary said when she met Elizabeth in Judah. Mary was probably 19 years old when the angel of the Lord met and proclaimed to her that she would bear the Son of God. The angel also announced that her relative Elizabeth has conceived despite her barrenness, for “with God nothing will be impossible” (Luke 1:37). It is a wonderful scene where these two women meet. Elizabeth was old and barren, yet with child, while Mary was very young and pregnant without ‘knowing a man’. We see God’s hand in both these miracles that defy the natural order of things.

Most of us suffering from infertility may wonder why God is putting us through this trauma, when He can heal us ‘right away’ and make us pregnant. Well, if there’s one thing we need to know about God, it’s this: He cannot be confined in a neat box! He has many acts up His sleeve and is the sovereign God who decides how and when to answer our prayers. There are times when God will do the unexpected and take us on a path we never even dreamed of.

I believe the person who said “The longest journey of any person is the journey inward”, had a long walk with God! Our struggles with infertility can be a wonderful opportunity to get rid of all the spiritual, mental, and emotional infections and dirt that have slowed us down in our walk of faith. When we trust in, rely on, and put our confidence in the Rock of Ages, we embark on an exciting journey that will take us to the place of complete rest, peace, and joy in Christ.

God works in ways that are beyond our comprehension. Sometimes, we may not like what He has planned for us. But, if we believe that we are in His thoughts and He has good plans that give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), we will welcome any surprise He throws at us. Christian adoption may be one of the surprises God has in store for infertile couples. He knows the inborn yearning in every woman to become a mother and He understands this feeling. Adoption may be His way of meeting your need to become a mother and giving a life of comfort, security, love, and faith to a child who needs you, more than you need him or her.

For my journey to motherhood, this is exactly how God worked. I lost pregnancy after pregnancy in an attempt to become a mother the only way I knew how. When I finally received the news that a successful pregnancy was not going to be an option, I prayed that God would remove this great desire to be a mother if it was not in His plans for my life. It was then, that He opened a window in my darkest days of desperation, as if to say “Mardie, simply follow MY path for your life.” God’s path led me through an adoption journey that blessed me not only with my son, but also with the work I do today through Lifetime Adoption Center. Two miracles that would not have existed for me had I not followed God’s leading.

If you are confused about adoption or your journey to parenthood, I encourage you to spend some time today in prayer. Ask God to show you what to do and lead you in your decisions concerning adoption. Believe that one day you will have a child who will rise up and call you blessed!