Adoption Prayer, Christian Adoption
God’s delays are not God’s denials.
-Robert H. Schuller.
Have you been praying long and hard for God to bless you with a baby? Every month as you watch your pregnancy test turn up negative, do you suspect God’s ability to answer your prayer? Or, after months and years of waiting, do you now think God has denied you of a chance to become a parent?
I love the words of Pastor Schuller: God’s delays are not God’s denials. Sometimes we expect God to do an instant miracle and relieve us of our burden. We hear stories of how other women prayed and the next month they conceived twins! It can be emotionally and spiritually taxing to keep waiting on God when nothing seems to be happening and you aren’t even sure He hears you. Well, let me tell you a little story about the Chinese bamboo tree: The Chinese plant the seed and they water and fertilize it. The first year nothing happens. But the Chinese continue to water and fertilize it until the fifth year, even though it shows no sign of life or growth. At some point in the fifth year, the first shoots come out of the earth. Within the span of six weeks, the Chinese bamboo tree grows to a height of 90 feet! Now, if I asked you how long it took the Chinese bamboo tree to grow, what will be your response – five years or six weeks? Well, five years, of course! The Chinese patiently watered and fertilized the plant for years before their efforts were rewarded.
We all have our ‘Chinese bamboo tree’ experiences in life. Infertility is one of them. We wait and pray, hoping for a miracle, but nothing seems to be happening. As God’s children, we have security in the fact that God is for us and not against us. He knows our secret longings and innermost desires and He wants to meet them. But, He will do so in His own timing and we should watch and pray in perseverance. Although it may seem that God is delaying your miracle, you must realize that God is neither early nor late…He’s just on time!
Wait on the Lord, wait cheerfully,
And He will thy youth renew;
Wait on the Lord obediently,
Whatever He bids thee do.
Wait on the Lord, for whom hast thou
On earth or in heaven but He?
Over thy soul a watch He keeps,
Whatever thy path may be.
-Robert J. Morgan, Nelson’s Complete Book of Stories, Illustrations, and Quotes,
A faith that can’t be tested can’t be trusted.
It is tragic that there are many people who use the name of our Lord to manipulate and cheat others. This world is full of rebellious and greedy individuals who will go to any length to make money. Sadly, Christian adoption is no exception. There are many people who use God’s Word and talk ‘Christianese’ to dupe unwitting and desperate couples of their hard-earned money.
Some of the most common scams in Christian adoption are listed below, so that you can be wary of them in your quest to adopt a baby:
- Adoption from African countries, especially Cameroon – Some couples try to adopt a baby using their own resources instead of a professional adoption agency. They unwittingly transfer funds to unscrupulous individuals and end up without a baby and a huge hole in their wallet.
- Adoption of multiples – Some women try to give up twins and triplets without sufficient evidence of pregnancy. If they refuse to get in touch with your attorney or adoption facilitator, that’s a big warning sign. You must exercise caution in such cases.
- Other Cases – Some other common means of scams include asking money immediately after sharing a very desperate and sad story, adoption professionals who advertise and ‘shop around’ for adoptive families, and adoption professionals who ask you to ‘invest’ money to show you to a prospective birth mother.
How Can You Avoid Such Scams?
Firstly, trust God to lead you to the child He has waiting for you. When you deal with innumerable frustrations and heart-breaks of adoption, you may be tempted to question the motives of every adoption professional and agency. This will leave you jaded and exhausted. When you believe that God has a good plan for your future and is willing to take your hand and guide you through the bumpy road of adoption, it releases you to come under the power and protection of His grace, mercy, and love. Trust in God and His timing. Ask Him to give you the wisdom needed to see through such scams and make the right decisions at the right time. Secondly, choose an experienced and reliable adoption professional to guide you through the adoption process and help you stay out of the traps of adoption scams.
Christian Adoption, Domestic Adoption
Save a man and you save a unit; save a boy and you save a multiplication table — Gipsy Smith
What does the Bible have to say about adoption? Can an adoptive family ever be like a real family? Is this right in the eyes of God? These may be some of the questions troubling you as you contemplate Christian adoption. Surprisingly, the Bible has a lot to say about adoption! Let’s take a look at God’s view of a family unit and His plan for orphans and abandoned children:
Adoption is legal (and Biblical)
Yes, we all know that there are several laws and regulations in most countries that make adoption legal. But, did you know that adoption existed in Biblical times as a legal option? According to the Word of God, the adopted child enjoyed the privilege of becoming a legitimate heir to the father’s estate and was treated as one among the family. The adopted child was treated as someone ‘born into’ the new family and as someone who has just started a new life! There are many examples of adoption in the Bible: Esther’s adoption by her cousin Mordecai, Moses’ adoption by Pharaoh’s daughter, and Joseph’s acceptance of Jesus as his son. God even adopted the entire tribe of Levi as His own. The Bible indicates that there is no difference in the roles and responsibilities of parents and children, whether the child is biological or adopted. Adoptive families are ‘real’ families in the eyes of God and in the eyes of law.
Spiritual significance of adoption
All believers are children of God and they are heirs through adoption (Rom. 8:15–17, 23; Gal. 4:4–7). This makes each of us a part of God’s adoptive family. God uses adoption as a beautiful metaphor to describe His relationship with those who believe in Him and His resurrection. This gives us the privilege of calling Him “Abba”, which is Aramaic for Daddy and is a Jewish expression of closeness of children with their fathers. In other words, a Christian’s identity is this: I am adopted by God (Eph 1:5). As believers we enjoy the rights, privileges, inheritance of biological children. This is by the law of grace.
The same grace is now available to adoptive families. Every child is a blessing from God (Ps. 128:3) and Christian adoption enables you to build a home with God’s Word as the foundation. Any family that is built on God’s Word will stand the test of time and will be used to extend His Kingdom, whether biological or adoptive!
Our children are not ours because they share our genes…
they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them.
That, at the end of the day…or long sleepless night,
is how love really works.
Are you afraid of open adoption? Do you think it is not only uncomfortable but also unbiblical? Well, I want to share what I found in the Word of God. Before we find instances of open adoption in the Bible, you must understand that adoption is pleasing in God’s sight. There are many examples of Biblical characters encouraging and demonstrating adoption: The adoption of Moses by Pharaoh’s daughter, the adoption of Esther by her relative Mordecai after the death of her parents, and finally, Joseph’s adoption of Jesus as his own child. Apart from these people adopting children who are not biologically theirs, the Bible says we are the children of God through adoption. In fact the New Testament (Gal. 4:3–7; Eph. 1:1–6) describes the believer’s relationship with God through adoption. So, it is very clear that adoption is divinely authorized and has the blessing of God, our Maker.
But, what does the Bible have to say about open adoption? Well, Joseph’s adoption of Jesus is a beautiful example of this process. He welcomed Jesus as his own, even though Jesus was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit. He recognized him as his own son and have him all legal rights, including the claim to the Davidic family line. When Jesus was 12 years old, he wandered away from his parents during the Passover Feast in Jerusalem, and was found three days later in the temple talking to the teachers. When he was questioned by his mother, he replies, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” Now, no adoptive parent would want to hear something like this. We can only imagine how Joseph felt when Jesus calls God as His ‘father’. The Bible indicates that Jesus spent time alone in prayer, communicating with His Father God. Joseph could have allowed himself to get upset about this. But, he did not allow this kind of open communication with Jesus’ heavenly Father to sour his relationship with his adopted son. We read that Jesus was ‘subject’ to his parents as He grew in wisdom and stature (Luke 2:51). So, He enjoyed a close relationship with his earthly parents, while communing with His Father in Heaven.
Can we do the same with an open adoption? Yes, we can. The focus of the adoption process should be the child. Your child’s birth family is very much a part of his or her life, whether you like it or not. An open adoption will remove feelings of insecurity and abandonment in your child that comes from not knowing anything about the birth family or not having any contact with them. It is your responsibility to allow your child to have a healthy communication channel with his or her birth family. If you fear complications from it, allow God to remove those fearful thoughts from your mind. Trust in Him and ask Him for the grace you need to opt for an open adoption.
Adoption Prayer, Christian Adoption
How long, Yahweh, shall I cry
and you will not hear? (Habakkuk 1:1)
This was Habakkuk’s cry of anguish at the growing wickedness in his beloved land of Judah. There was a great internal and external trouble in the land and the wicked were going unpunished. Habakkuk wanted answers from God and He cried out in distress and frustration. While the book of Habakkuk is one of the shortest in the Bible, it overflows with lessons on God’s plan and purpose for His people. It is heartening to know that God answers Habakkuk’s questions and goes on to reveal His divine plans for His children.
While Habakkuk’s reasons for frustration may be starkly different from yours, there is a lot of similarity in his doubting God’s plan and timing. If you have been trying to become a parent for a long time and you are still waiting for God to bless you with a baby, you may be struggling with feelings of fear, frustration, hopelessness, and anxiety. Maybe you have reached that point where you are ready to throw in the towel and give up. But hold on! God has a special plan and purpose for your life and your future.
There is an important lesson we can learn from the Book of Habakkuk: it is okay to question God! Habakkuk questioned God more than once because of his fear and frustration. But, the key lesson is he was honest with his feelings towards God. Maybe you are wondering ‘Why is God silent?’, ‘Has He allowed this barrenness to come upon me?’, ‘How can a God who is good sit back and watch me go through the pain of infertility without coming to my assistance?’, ‘Is God truly who He claims to be? Is He really ready to come to my help?’. Many Christian couples waiting to become a parent struggle with these questions. It is important to realize how we handle these thoughts of doubts and insecurities. Do we run to the throne or to the phone? Are we honest about our emotions and facing them or fleeing from them?
God is willing to answer your questions, just as He answered Habakkuk’s. When you are dealing with thoughts of doubt, you have two choices: to live in fear or to live in faith. The beautiful verses at the end of the Book of Habakkuk show how he chose to live in faith! I encourage you to read them and hold them close to your heart as you wait for God to reveal His plans and timing for your parenthood.
Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The LORD God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.