Chances are you will be celebrating Father’s Day yourself in a short time from now. Your job has already begun. Are you surprised?
There have been many surveys done where men have been asked to rank their heroes in life. Often, the top vote-getter is dear old dad.
What does this mean to you as a dad-to-be?
Simply that the role you are about to fill is one of the most important roles you will ever have. It starts now, before you even know who that child will be.
Your future daughter will look to you as a needed role model to help her in choosing the right boys to date and the type of man she will marry. Your future son will imitate your actions as a man, watching your every move and response for guidance to help mold him into the husband and father he will become.
Clarence Budington Kelland was quoted as saying “My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” What will your children observe from you?
Are you feeling overwhelmed yet? I hope not. Truly, it is a huge responsibility but remembering that God is on your side to inspire you and guide you, as you become the father and husband He wants you to be.
Father’s Day is a good time to think and pray about your strengths along with areas of improvements you may have. The Lord will soon guide you to your children who will carry on your name and look to you for guidance as they trust their little lives in your big hands. You will become an instrument God uses in your their lives.
You can become the best father and role model by making God your teacher, the ruler on whose authority everything you do is based. As a father, one of your first responsibilities will be to acquaint your children with Scripture and love and kindness for their mother.
“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Will you start today to become the hero they are looking for? The habits you are developing today will become the qualities in building that hero in their lives. Never give up and never forget the important role you will soon be playing for a lifetime in your child’s life. When in doubt, turn to Him for direction. My prayer for you, dear fathers of these blessed children, is one of strength, faith, and steadfastness in your journey to become Godly fathers.
God bless you and know that wherever you are today, we are praying for you and your adoption as fathers-in-waiting.
Ron and Liz were open to a semi-open adoption, sending photos and letters through our adoption center. They clearly stated that they were not comfortable with more, nor were they open to occasional visits. They were chosen by Renee, a teenage birth mother who preferred no ongoing communication whatsoever.
At the hospital, as Ron and Liz were awaiting their son’s birth, they met Renee’s parents and instantly hit it off! Both couples were in their early 40’s, and during the long labor, learned that they had a lot in common. A few days later, when it was time for the baby to be discharged, Ron and Liz realized that they wanted to see Renee’s family. Now, more than six years later, they still spend a week each summer together.
“We weren’t looking for a relationship like that,” Ron shares. “But God had it waiting for us! They are part of our son’s family, and He opened our hearts to see that they are now part of our family, too. We didn’t know what He had in store. Adoption has been a life-changing experience for us.”
In the case of a domestic adoption where there is little contact with the birth mother, you can still gather enough information to be able to answer questions your child will have. In adopting a foreign-born child, you will learn very little about the birth parents, but you can usually discover enough about the village the child came from or the circumstance that brought him to the orphanage or foster care. Children who grow up knowing that they were adopted by honest, trustworthy, and supportive parents will grow up with a healthier sense of self.
As a Christian and an adoption professional, I believe that open or semi-open adoptions are most beneficial for all involved. The birth mother has the peace she needs that her child is happy and healthy, and that she made the right decision. The adoptive parents have access to the birth family should they need medical information or have other questions. And the child has the opportunity to know that his adoption was a choice made out of great love, with a birth mother who cared more about him than her own desires, and that his adoptive parents embrace not only him, but his biological heritage, as well. I have found, too, that parenting is less stressful and fears are calmed when the birth mother is known, embraced, and available.
Rely on Him when you feel doubt or need strength. He has all we need.
“The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights.”
Oftentimes, God is more in tune with what would be good for us and our adoption. Allow Him to prepare your heart for the adoption He knows you can handle. This can mean putting your emotions aside until you find peace, as I did in my adoption. The benefits far outweigh any risk.
Called to Adoption is a new book for Christians who are feeling God leading them to consider building their family through adoption. Author and Adoption Expert Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. used her own adoption journey and the experience she has gained in helping thousands of couples adopt to create this Christian book for adoption. Find out more about the book & order your copy at CalledtoAdoption.com. Caldwell’s nationwide adoption center, Lifetime Adoption, has been helping families adopt since 1986.